How to deal with doubters and skeptics
Do you also sometimes meet these eternal know-it-alls and professional skeptics, who allegedly know better than you what Lavylites is or is not, can't or can do?Today I want to give you some food for thought and some sources to help you. It will be exciting again, I promise you.
So where do the know-it-alls get their wisdom from?
I call them Dr. Google. They get their views - it's nothing more than that - so no knowledge - from the internet.Among the Internet users we meet two characters. Some search objectively and openly, curiously for information. They will weigh the search results thoroughly and be grateful for concrete information, experiences and explanations from you. Deliver them to them. And then there are those who are consciously or unconsciously out for negatives. After all, you will find everything you are looking for on the net. If you want something negative you get exactly that, which is called "self-selective".
We have to understand why that is so.
On the one hand, being skeptical and careful is human, natural and good. Because then you are open to information. Perhaps you know the saying of the " doubting Thomas "? More about that later. But as hard as that sounds. To see only problems and everything negatively everywhere is the way of life of socially underdeveloped people. They only discover what they do not have themselves - for example knowledge, friends, a spray with wonderful features. They are mentally too inactive to deal with the new, the unfamiliar. They compare themselves and secretly, consciously or unconsciously, envy creeps in. The toy of the other child, which I don't get because I don't move, is just not good. We already know this from Aesop's fable about the fox and the grapes. Instead, these people take their negative but comfortable position in the comfort zone. This is actually only a free ride to justify their lack of interest to themselves. Therefore please do not take the behaviour of such people personally. It is their problem and we cannot take care of everything.
How do you deal with them now?
I've often said that I think it's simple to see the measure of things in Google. The Internet is full of hordes of anonymous eccentrics who have no idea about anything, but have an opinion on everything. Among them are these self-proclaimed experts, who have only formed their attitude as second and third recyclers from the Internet. Information content low.
Yes, that also applies to Wikipedia, by the way. Did you know that 80% of the contributions are written by the top 1% authors? The American Purdue University has proven this in a study. You can also find the link here. Also on Wikipedia one often finds subjectively colored up to incorrect statements. This increases the more the topic approaches the big money. Who has the money to pay these 1% "authors"? Think about it your own way.
To the text: Occasionally you meet people who don't know or don't know enough about the matter at hand, but want to teach you. In the last podcast on the subject of self-confidence, I quoted the American writer Charles Bukowski: "The problem with this world is that intelligent people are so full of self-doubt and stupid people are so full of self-confidence. Scientifically this is called the Dunning Kruger effect.
The Dunning Kruger effect describes the fact that there are people who
- overestimate their own abilities;
- not recognise superior skills, such as knowledge and competence, in others;
- what excuses the thing somewhat, their own incompetence themselves can not recognize.
That is why I recommend smiles and indulgences. People can't be blamed. The good news from Dunning/Kruger is that through education or practice, they can learn to appreciate themselves and others better. So don't just smile, but help them with their education by creating a headwind. If a person doesn't get a contradiction, he believes - see Dunning/Kruger - that his wrong opinion is confirmed!
There are some who are not even afraid to admit that they have no idea! One can often recognize them by "I have seen a report there once" and thus confirm that they only know the subject from the media. They may not be accustomed to making their own experiences and relying on themselves.
Now it's up to you whether you accept know-it-alls or whether you defend your position. Should the smarter one really always give in? Until he is the stupid one in the eyes of bystanders? As I said, in the last podcast I gave a detailed statement on the subject of self-confidence. Be aware: No one else can do what you can! Maybe you'll listen to this episode again later.
So if it gets too much for you, go on the offensive.
The point is to show that you have invested a lot of time, money and effort and therefore know Lavylites personally inside out and can present thousands of real practical direct experiences.Being skeptical and doubting at first is nothing negative - unless you stubbornly insist on your opinion. That also reminds me of this legend. One of Jesus' apostles was the "Doubting Thomas", you may know this term. He doubted Jesus until he showed him the wounds he had suffered at the crucifixion. Thomas received no scolding, no sermon. He simply got the evidence shown, changed his mind and became an enthusiastic companion. So being skeptical is nothing negative in itself - if, as I said, your counterpart doesn't rigidly insist on his opinion.
So ask those who don't believe you, who supposedly know better, how they came up with it. Let's assume this case: A conversation partner tells you he knows Lavylites or from the Internet - Lavylites doesn't work.Ask concretely and directly:
Do you know that exactly?
What makes you think so?
Why do you believe that?
Why are you so sure?
How can you tell?
Either he has facts with which we can deal, or he will see for himself that he has only sat on rumours. And now comes the most important round of questions:
What personal experiences have you had?
Have you ever tried that yourself?
Have you seen it with your own eyes?
Do you have a concrete example?
Do you know the people with whose opinions you come to me here?
Did these people buy original Lavylites products and use them correctly?
Your question will of course prove that the skeptic has no own experience, but has picked up something from strangers on the Internet. Where the earth is a disc and where Elvis lives!
Do you see it? If you get to the bottom of things, you will find a common denominator among reasonable people. Turn the tables now. Amaze him. Show what Lavylites - and only Lavylites - can actually do. Do the lemon test. Now he has his first-hand experience! That's why it's so important to share our experiences. We are the opposite of the anonymous people on the Internet. The real Lavylites partners know each other and share their experiences.
One last thing.
These days I got a request for information about a four year old article of a of course anonymous blogger. Don't let it bother you.
In general one should not overestimate negative opinions according to Dr. MARTIN OETTING, who researched word of mouth and viral marketing in his doctoral thesis. In a study with 31,000 answers, he confirmed: "The overwhelming majority of consumers and users are especially open to good news from their circle of friends about companies and their products: Most people remember the positive stories, while less of the negative experiences are left behind than expected". Most people (89%) remember spontaneously much more positive than negative word of mouth (7%).
So we don't have to jump over every stick someone's holding out on us. Who is negative, wants to remain negative. And since they are known as negatives, what they say will also be classified as bias by people. On the other hand, look forward to honest skeptics like the "Doubting Thomas". You can convince them. That gives satisfaction to both sides. Ask those who have collected their half-knowledge on a laptop from Dr. Google or sniffed it up in the gossip factory. Just get to the bottom of it.
You are the one who knows best and what you can do no other can do.
Have you learned any new stuff today? That's good. Because what is better than being dropped backwards? You know it, to prevent.
English version of the German episode Über den Umgang mit Besserwissern
(c) Paule Knete 2019
Instagram @paule_knete and @paule_knetes_world_of_quotes
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